The Mill<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In the photo\nthe mill looks derelict, abandoned, a far cry from the spacious, comfortable\nholiday home it is now. A second photo on the wall shows how it appeared in1999\nwhen the renovations were well underway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This 200\nyear old Norfolk water mill \u2018in an idyllic rural position\u2019 is, for two weeks\nanyway, to be my home. A hideaway, a retreat, where I can rest and begin my\nrecovery. That\u2019s the idea anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It really is\na delightful setting. The mill stands directly over the mill stream, so the\ncalming sound of the water bubbling over stones is already beginning to have an\neffect on me. Four storeys high, it has a huge family kitchen with a pine table\nin the middle, and an even bigger reception room with old armchairs and sofas\nand a massive oak dining table that could easily seat 12. Plenty of room for me\nthen! The wooden floors, exposed brickwork and beamed ceilings add to its\ncharm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The rooms are\nfurnished in a variety of styles, all with comfort in mind. An old chest on the\nfirst landing, a child\u2019s school desk in one of the smaller bedrooms, a rocking\nhorse on the landing outside \u2018my\u2019 room, alongside an old doll\u2019s house. Did\nchildren ever really live here, or have these items been cobbled together to\ncreate an image of a family who have just left the building?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The mill\nstands in about an acre of ground, surrounded by fields and woods. Not a single\nbuilding in sight even from the windows on the top floor – one of the reasons I\nchose this particular location.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Friends\nsuggested that I shouldn\u2019t be alone at this time, but, for me, it seemed the\nright thing to do. Everyone has been so kind after my \u2026. loss\u2026 but I was\nbeginning to feel smothered. I felt like I couldn\u2019t breathe, but already, here\nI can feel the fresh air filling my lungs and my mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was hoping\nI could begin writing again. I haven\u2019t written a word since.. Well, even for\nmonths before, to be honest. I was so wrapped up in my life and the future that\nI hadn\u2019t thought about picking up a pen, or opening my laptop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here, with\nno interruptions, no hushed voices, I might be able to take up where I left\noff.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Feeling\ntired after the long journey I make a quick supper of toasted cheese and turn\nin for the night. The bed is old, but soft and comfy, with crisp white sheets\nand duvet, and, thankfully, I sleep well for the first time in ages.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is still\ndark outside when I wake with a start. Disorientated initially, I soon remember\nwhere I am and hold my breath to listen. What woke me? I can\u2019t hear anything\nand soon go back to sleep.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wake again\nto bright sunlight streaming through the gaps in the curtains. It\u2019s early yet,\nbut I feel so refreshed after a good night\u2019s sleep that I leap out of bed and\ninto the shower. Fully dressed I open the curtains and flood the room with\nlight. On the chest of drawers I see a well-loved, old, rag doll that I hadn\u2019t\nnoticed yesterday. Her head is nearly bald and her clothes are faded, but she\nwas obviously beautiful once. I wonder about her owner as I tuck her in my bed\nwith her head resting on the pillow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My first\nfull day is spent walking the footpaths, returning to the mill only when hunger\nstrikes. After a late lunch I open my laptop. The Wi-Fi is good (phone signal\nis non-existent) and I send a short email to Jeff just to say I am here and\ndoing fine. He will let the others know I am ok, so I won\u2019t be inundated by\nmessages and questions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I read\nthrough the novel I was working on a lifetime ago, type today\u2019s date August 25th<\/sup>\n2018, and, without warning, I am sucked into the lives of my characters and my\nfingers fly over the keyboard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Something\ndisturbs me and I realise that the room is in shadow as the sun sets. A\nrepetitive creaking noise coming from upstairs has broken my train of thought.\nOnly to be expected in an old building as temperature changes cause the timbers\nto expand and contract. But.. it\u2019s very regular.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I won\u2019t\nsettle until I find the cause so I climb the stairs. I can see movement before\nI reach the landing. The rocking horse\u2019s tail is swaying as it rocks backwards\nand forwards. How odd. Maybe a breeze has set it off (although it\u2019s quite a\nsubstantial toy, and I can\u2019t feel any moving air) or the expanding\/contracting\nfloorboards have moved and started it rocking. I place my hand on the worn\nsaddle and still the movement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Downstairs\nagain I make an omelette which I enjoy with a Greek salad and one or two\nglasses of cold, white wine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Feeling\ndelightfully sleepy I go up to my room. It is warm in the bedroom and I open\nthe wooden, sash window to let in some cool air. The noise of the river washes\nover me, relaxing me further. The sound is almost like the tinkling sound of a\nchild\u2019s laughter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As I am\nabout to climb into bed I notice the rag doll on the chest of drawers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The morning\nstarts grey and wet. I wander through the rooms, feeling vaguely unsettled. I\u2019m\nnot ready to settle down to writing and I can\u2019t go for a walk yet. I lift the\nlid of the old school desk. Empty. Did a child live in this small room? The\nmill has been renovated and decorated so no evidence of previous occupants\nremain. On the landing I look at the old chest, imagining what it could have\nheld. Opening the lid, stiff with age, I expect it to be empty, another prop to\nadd to the image, but it isn\u2019t. Under an old, brown blanket, the chest is full\nof old clothes, toys and books.<\/p>\n\n\n\n An hour\nlater I am still sitting on the landing, surrounded by evidence of a little\ngirl\u2019s life. One old, creased photograph shows a pretty little girl, standing\nby a chair, wearing a frilly dress and buttoned up boots. She looks about four\nor five years old and the contents of the chest appear to have belonged to her.\nEverything appears to belong to a child of about 5, a time capsule of her life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A soft thud\ncomes from my room and I rise stiffly and go to investigate. The rag doll lies\nin a heap on the polished floorboards. Something strange is happening here but\noddly, I don\u2019t feel scared, just sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Packing the contents\ncarefully back in the chest, I notice a newspaper cutting inside an old copy of\n\u2018The Water Babies\u2019 by Charles Kingsley. It is yellowed and fragile but I unfold\nit and see it is a cutting from the Eastern Daily Press. I cannot believe my\neyes when I read the date. September 2nd 1918. Very nearly 100 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I take the\ncutting downstairs to read at the oak table in the light from the big window.\nThe font is unusual and very small. It soon becomes clear that the contents of\nthe chest belonged to Elizabeth, only daughter of John and Alice, who drowned\nin the stream on August 26th<\/sup> 1918.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I cry\nquietly, grieving for Elizabeth, her family, and my baby.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The rain and\nthe tears stop and I search the area on Google maps. The local church is not\nfar and a walk will do me good. I want to see if I can find her grave and pay\nmy respects. At the last minute I get the rag doll and carry her with me. The\nsun shines weakly on my walk to the graveyard. It takes some time but\neventually I find it. \u2018Here lies Elizabeth Hill, daughter of John and Alice\u2019.\nThe engraving is worn and difficult to read, but this is the one. The dates are\nright. She was 5 years old. I gently lay the doll on the grave, propped up\nagainst the stone and say a silent prayer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n During the\nrest of the week a feeling of peace and calm fills the old mill and I begin to\nfeel that I have a future, that my family and I can recover.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I say\ngoodbye to Elizabeth as I leave.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The Mill In the photo the mill looks derelict, abandoned, a far cry from the spacious, comfortable holiday home it is now. A second photo on the wall shows how it appeared in1999 when the renovations were well underway. This 200 year old Norfolk water mill \u2018in an idyllic rural position\u2019 is, for two weeks […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"_themeisle_gutenberg_block_has_review":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-407","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"rttpg_featured_image_url":null,"rttpg_author":{"display_name":"Carol","author_link":"https:\/\/carolbarton.uk\/index.php\/author\/admin\/"},"rttpg_comment":0,"rttpg_category":null,"rttpg_excerpt":"The Mill In the photo the mill looks derelict, abandoned, a far cry from the spacious, comfortable holiday home it is now. A second photo on the wall shows how it appeared in1999 when the renovations were well underway. This 200 year old Norfolk water mill \u2018in an idyllic rural position\u2019 is, for two weeks…","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/carolbarton.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/407","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/carolbarton.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/carolbarton.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carolbarton.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carolbarton.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=407"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/carolbarton.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/407\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":409,"href":"https:\/\/carolbarton.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/407\/revisions\/409"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/carolbarton.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=407"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}